Question: I worked so hard to walk again after acute polio. I have extreme pain in my hip in my weaker leg and since I had a knee replaced, my back pain when standing is also extreme. I use a cane sometimes and I know I should use a scooter or a wheelchair, but I just can’t overcome that horrible …
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Imposters on Social Media
Question: I see people on Facebook and other online groups who have a made-up name (Bracing Bill, Polio Paul), who may be pretending to be survivors. And there are groups like “Women in Braces.” Some are way too interested in braces and other hardware, and it’s getting creepy. On Facebook, one person with a pseudonym posts lots of pictures of …
Navigating Thorny Issues within Facebook Groups
Question: I participate in a Facebook group for polio survivors. I want to contribute honestly, but many times my response isn’t what others “believe.” I have felt bullied a few times in the past, and just backed off. I find that I gain from it, so I don’t want to leave the group. Do you have suggestions as to how …
Dealing with Support Group Bullying
Question: At a recent meeting, someone found it fun to mock me as she spoke. My body is quite misshapen and the brace makes me appear to look stiff and odd. She focused on me in a friendly, humorous way as if seeking my approval for doing her performance so well. Earlier, I saw another member go through a similar …
Dealing with Changes in Functional Ability
Question: Regarding the Promoting Positive Solutions column in the last issue of Post-Polio Health (Vol. 29, No. 4): I can identify with the person in the question. I also had polio as a teenager, and, like him, I am still on my own with assistance but concerned about what will happen to me if my situation worsens. I don’t think …
Navigating Spousal/Caregiver Friction
Question: My husband is a post-polio survivor who will be 75 later this year. He started to experience new weakness at the age of 70. I recognize his weakness, as I am 70 and have degenerative disk problems so weakness is not new to me. I have told him to go to your website and read Post-Polio Health so that …
Handling Friendships and Changing Activity Levels with Grace
Question: It’s easier explaining things to “new” friends as opposed to friends I have had for 30 years. Old friends expect me to be the same as 20 to 30 years ago with the same energy and activity levels I used to have. How can I gracefully handle this? Response from Rhoda Olkin, PhD: New friends accept who you are …
Discussion on Partner Abuse for People with Disabilities
Dr. Olkin addresses male to female partner abuse in heterosexual relationships: If you are being abused by a partner, I want to say two things to you right at the start: (a) You are not alone; (b) It is not your fault. And the third thing is that there is help and hope, but you have to take the first …
Anxiety Over Sexual Intimacy with New Partners
Question: I am a 49-year-old female with PPS. I am divorced and finally feel ready to date again. I find that some potential partners want to be intimate first before developing an emotional bond. This causes me a lot of anxiety. I haven’t had sex since being diagnosed with PPS and feel anxious about how to bring this issue up. …
Should I Forgive My Parents for Not Telling Me I Had Polio?
Question: I am a 72-year-old widowed male. I read in the September issue about the reader whose parents didn’t tell her about having polio and only discovering it as an adult. I had a similar experience and have always felt my parents were ashamed of my polio, not just wanting to protect me, and this had a scarring effect on …